Alpha (fe)Male

As life progresses, most humans become more self aware of who they are and who they're not. What gifts and talents they have and with what talents they have not. It is in the hopes of getting older that one becomes at peace with what is given to them and at peace with who they are, and then use that person to change the world with what they've been given. There is one person who I never was, and never will be. I was never that girl in high school. The cool one, leader of a pack, any pack, several packs. I was a serious academic goofball. Who giggled a lot. I'm realizing now that it's becoming incorporated in my teaching style, which seems to work for most people. But it didn't work for Kristy.

It's actually kind of ironic how sometimes a name totally fits the person that it's given to. Do we grow into these names, or is it just coincidence? I recall compiling a sheet of English names to allow my students to pick from. Coming up with 50 names is a lot harder than one might originally imagine it to be. Regardless, as I was compiling this list I was thinking to myself "Whitney--thats a name for a party girl." "Matt--thats a name for a heart breaker." "Bruno--thats a name form a beefy dude." "Kristy--thats a name for a really cool girl." Destiny, my friends. Destiny. 

(ps, no offense to those of you named Whitney, Matt, or Bruno.)

Jenna and Kristy being crafty. Can you see her gray streaks?

Kristy was that girl. It became very clear even from the first day that Kristy played a huge role in the social realm of Summer Dream. She was always being clung to by other members of class, and always had a smile spread across her face, especially when the boys were around. Kristy had a "cool" factor. Just like the movies, she could be walking down the hallway at school and every head would turn and the boys would drop their books and this heavenly glow would follow her in a five foot bubble. I caught myself in my head (as the teacher) saying "wow, I want to be like Kristy."

Kristy was my secret girl crush, and my biggest struggle. Kristy was blatantly the lowest ability English speaker in my classroom. For the first few days while she would chit-chat away when I was teaching I tried all the tricks in the book. The "proximity factor" where you as the teacher move closer towards whatever distraction is in the room. The "staring", "Waiting game"...of course, I couldn't do these for too long, it made me feel mean inside. It wasn't until we took an afternoon to have "girl talk" and "boy talk". This opportunity was spawned after the heavens decided to open up and not allow us to play various outside activities. I brought a bag of Starburst and the kids were set to go (seriously... they went crazy over it). While having "girls talk", we allowed them to talk about hopes and dreams, more personal stuff than what one would say in front of a classroom of twenty. I recall going around the circle and asking each of my 9 girls various questions. As soon as I would ask Kristy a question she would immediately lean over to a friend and speak Chinese. Her answers would come, very slow, and in very poor English. It was then I realized that all of the side conversation was a translation. We were trained that there would be talking in our classrooms and students would ask each other questions, but Kristy was my only student who really struggled. All I received from Kristy were blank stares. Oh, she would laugh if I did something goofy (which was an every other minute occurrence). She would constantly have her phone out, translating from English to Chinese. 

Yes, those are real mountains in the background.

Kristy was certainly not a star student, but she still had that 'it' factor. She didn't wear the school uniform like the other students. She had this flowing black hair, streaked with gray. She had the walk of a model, and the laugh of a child. I learned that she was my only student who actually lived there at the school full time (while others, like Jaime, would go home on the weekends). When there were boys, there was Kristy. And they listened to her. Our final day we spent the morning going on a photo scavenger hunt. Twenty pictures, two hours. One of the assigned tasks was to spell out your teachers name using your body. So together, Summer Dream assembled to spell "Kayla". I have never seen so much sheer chaos in my life. Kristy directing the way, twenty minutes later, my name was spelled on the field. All I could do was stand back and laugh...and take the picture for proof.

Kristy was oober crafty, just like many girls in China. Her favorite day of all time was when we learned about the American wedding. We brought in rolls upon rolls of toilet paper, and the classes were to dress up their teachers for a "bridal fashion show". Although we had planned for this to take like, a half an hour, our students got super into it. An hour later, they were still designing our dresses, adding on the most meticulous details with toilet paper and tape. Kristy, my fashionista, had to make sure that Miss Kayla looked all right. One of her fellow students placed the flower in not the right spot so she had to do it all over again. I have never felt so pampered in my life as to when my kids decorated me with toilet paper. We tried out several bouquets and colors to match my hair (mind you these were flowers that were stolen from the auditorium decorating). All of the students were so proud of what they had done, but not a face shone brighter in the room than Kristy's.

American brides? Miss Stephanie, Miss Jane, Miss Liu, and myself.

As a teacher, I quickly felt so disconnected from her because of the communication barrier. I often wondered if I had enlightened her life at all if all she was doing was getting translations day after day. It wasn't until the closing ceremony. We were originally told that the ceremony would be on Saturday morning, and then we would leave. However, as they often happen in Asia, plans change rather quickly and you just have to go for it. Our ceremony was moved to the previous day, cutting in on quality time with our students. As soon as the ceremony began, it was over. Huge 'to-do's are never very long, our closing ceremony lasting a matter of 15 minutes as we handed a certificate to each of our students. Jaime, stepping up to shake my hand "Miss Kayla, I'm so proud of you", and Kristy, already tears welling in her eyes.

We progressed outside to take pictures, say our final goodbyes and Kristy patiently stood in line to hug me. As she approached she collapsed on my chest, sobbing, wailing as if at a funeral. "Miss Kayla, don't go. Please don't go. Miss Kayla I love you, don't go." What does one say to that? I responded with tears and tighter squeezes. Perhaps I did make a difference after all.

There is no way Im finishing this post on that note. There still is one memory of Kristy left, a memory that leaves me joy and spurts giggles from my gut. You see, we progressed into the most extensive photoshoot I have ever been a part of, lasting an hour and a half in length. Every student wanted their own picture with the teachers, then every friend group wanted a picture with the teachers, then strangers off the street wanted pictures with the foreign teachers...lots of smiling to be so sad inside. At one point my Summer Dreamers gathered around, jabbering in Chinese, myself just nodding and smiling, as always. Out of nowhere Kristy's voice level raises. She begins shouting and jumping, pointing, a look on her face of determination and slight anger. She slaps Mateo across the arm and he begins to run across the street, dodging three wheeled cars and cyclists. The remainder of the class starts go giggle and laugh and Kristy comes over to embrace me. I inquired as to what just happened. "Mah-few go get ice cream. Your favorite." And minutes later, Mateo returned with five ice creams in hand, one for each of us foreign teachers. Thank you, Kristy, for being the leader of the pack.

-康妮

It says "Queen of Pop", not poop. I swear.