It was September something, 1995, and I stood in a black and red flowered dress, equipped with a chunky lace collar, engulfing the top half of my torso. I had a tag pinned to this collar, proclaiming my name and my bus number for all the world to see. From the front, my patterned dress was disturbed by two turquoise straps. These straps belonged to my backpack, which was only the coolest thing known to mankind. On the actual backpack was a screen print of Pocahontas and all of her friends. I was smothered in my Daddy’s arms, a horrendous 90’s caterpillar crinkling across his face, and glasses that enabled his eyes and cheeks to see better. Mommy, with her video camera and film camera, capturing every moment while two additional kids under the age of 3 crawled up and down her legs, weighting her down. This was the first day of kindergarten.
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| The lace that engulfs my torso. |
“Kayla Marie, why do we go to school?”
“To have fun!!”
We all have those home videos, or old pictures, or ‘diaries’ that we kept when we were just learning to write. These are some of my favorite items ever. In fact, I sometimes have nightmares that my house burns down with all of our captured memories from childhood, inside. What would I share with my children when they have to do those crazy “family tree” projects?! What would I have to prove to the world that I too, once was a child? These home videos have brought about many family jokes, the one with me catching the brunt involves my simple philosophy of education. We go to school to have fun.
It is truly a blessing in this country that every child is entitled to an education. We have heard it time and time again how so many kids around the world are not allowed access to public schooling, how an education is a privilege for many kids. Here in this country we are so overwhelmingly blessed to have the accessibility to an education that we want and need. Now please, I’m not preaching that our system is flawless, I have plenty of qualms with our educational system even though I am soon to be a part of it. In fact, I saw a documentary Waiting for Superman that really hit home. I strongly encourage you to go watch it and leave comments as to what you think.
Since that day in 1995 I have played the role of ‘student’. Of course, being in education I believe that every experience is a learning experience, therefore I have been learning since day one, but my official title of ‘student’ didn’t come until that fateful day. Now here I stand almost 20 years later, still with the title of student, a title that I will not be keeping for much longer. This is a major shift in life. No more golden star stickers, ‘good job’ stamps, or ‘extra credit’ to get ahead. Being a ‘student’ is more than a title. It actually encompasses who you are. I’ve had many ‘titles’ in my life. I’ve been president of this, treasurer of that, leader for this… but none have the impact and the weight that the role of ‘student’ actually means. Being a ‘student’ has been defining over the decades, and to lose that role is like giving a part of yourself up. It’s the death of a life that you have lived.
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| High School graduate with Grandma and Pappy. |
One of the trickiest things for me to grasp when my Pappy passed away was that I no longer was a granddaughter. I mean, yes, I still have living grandparents (whom I absolutely love and adore) but I was no longer his granddaughter. He was no longer in existence. I felt that in some twisted way, a part of me was no longer in existence too. I lost that role. I loved that role. I didn’t realize how much I loved it until I lost it. It absolutely sucks. I understand that the two are drastically different things, losing a loved one and completing an education, but they vastly parallel one another in a sick and twisted way.
My role of student has driven me to do all sorts of crazy things, try crazy projects, and learn all sorts of stuff. There were so many joys along the way, so many things that I absolutely loved doing naturally that made my role of ‘student’ just happen. Am I an overachiever? Not on purpose, I swear. However if a task or assignment involves something I am passionate about, I can’t help but get exceedingly wrapped up in it. For example, Mrs. Sexton was my 7th and 8th grade English teacher. Our monthly assignment was to read a book and to complete one of various projects that we could turn in. For these two years in my education, the week before the project was due, my entire life would be wrapped around completing the journals, posters, and text that was needed to complete the project. I saw these projects as a way of expressing my creativity, loving to write stories, drawing pictures, and the best part of all was that I had to read books. Your average student would not be into that, and probably see these things as a chore. Myself, they ended up being the highlight of my entire school year. I love projects, crayons, creative writing (can’t you tell?)
A part of being a student that often gets overlooked is the responsibility to find what fits you. Too many students get wrapped up placing blame for lack of learning on the teacher. In actual reality, the teacher and student share equal responsibility in the education of the student. If something is not processing or connecting correctly in the student’s mind, it is up to them to find a mode or way to make it work. The teacher is to provide the resources, and the student is to use them. If the resources are not provided, then it is up to the student to ensure that they obtain what they need.
I speak from experience. I am not a student where everything comes naturally to me. I’ve had to work very hard to reach the point of where I am. My evenings were spent on homework and after school activities. There were many a days spent after school, working one on one with Mrs. Steubing, Mr. Ressman, and Miss Abatta (coincidentally, all math teachers), Mr. Myslivecek, Mr. Swian and various others along the way. There were many tests that I bombed, many presentations that I gave that consumed my whole being with anxiety. Now, those tests and presentations basically mean nothing, but the time and effort that my teachers carved out for me means the world.
Thank you for listening to my ramblings as I reflect on my past life as a student. Maybe they’ll help you to think of where you are currently in a different way.
Student (noun)
1. a person formally engaged in learning, especially one enrolled in a school or college
2. any person who studies, investigates, or examines thoughtfully
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