Whats gotten into me?

I told myself i wouldn't do it. I told myself that I wouldn't let a month go by without updating my personal blog. Not while in China, because China is personal.

But I did it. I slipped up. I failed my personal expectations. It wouldn't be the first time.

But then I was looking upon some other writings and things of the like, and I realized that they are more personal in nature. And my mommy always tole me to share. So I figured I would do just that. In case you haven't gotten a chance to read up on what's happening on this side of the world, THIS is my life from January, and THIS is my life from February.

I'll do better next time, I promise.

It's just funny.

“It’s just funny”

That’s something those closest to me are accustomed to hearing, as it is often my excuse for bursting into a random fit of giggles.  Caught up in the world solely visible to me, replaying humorous events or envisioning possible interactions and encounters, out of my gut bubbles noises of delight. Of course, these bubbles overtake my being and entrance me to continuously laugh to the point at which I can’t remember the original entrancement. When left to explain myself, I often end up with a lack of words, and wonderful ‘memories’ that never happened.

It’s just funny.

How is it that you can be somewhere, but feel like you’re somewhere else? Caught in the purgatory between darkness and dreamland, my mind can take me to dozens and dozens of places, as rapid as film in a movie player. How is it that I can be laying in a bed in China, but feel my father shuffling down the hall? How is it that I can smell the kitchen on Old Ivy, or feel the cool counter tops in the tips of my fingers while laying in a bed, 7,000 miles away? What does it mean when I can feel someones hand in mine who is on the other side of the world? It’s just funny what our memory allows us to remember, and what it makes us forget. I am continually surprised by the vividness that is created and experienced, trapped behind my eyes, electronically firing through neurons.

It’s just funny.

My mind, when left to wander, will come up with completely ridiculous and unrealistic scenarios on its own. It is not a dog, it cannot be taken to Training School. It is not diseased and Ritalin won’t do a thing. My mind quickly and efficiently creates its own sagas and soap operas, most of which end in tears exploding from my face in needing to say goodbye to one whom I hold dear. Some of which involve re-living instances of the past and changing a thing or six. Still yet some of them involve achieving, reaching for a particular goal which the figment of my imagination wanted, but not me. Once in a leap year, they end with a happily ever after.

It’s just ...funny.

A Little Hint

Dear men who would like to date me,

If you’re looking for a way to steal my heart, let me give you a hint: take me to a place with water and lights. Preferably to a place where one could see the reflection of lights on the water. Deal=sealed.

Theres something purely magical about lights and water. I don’t know if that’s something that years of Disney has installed in me, or it it’s actually something so beautiful that it makes us as humans want it and crave it.

Our team found ourselves wandering the streets of Guangzhou and we came across lights and water and a skyline that made our jaws drop and makes cooing sounds escape from our mouths. Entranced would be the proper term to describe exactly what happened. We were captivated by the artistic and mystical atmosphere that was created by lush palm trees, pods of water that sprouted lanterns and lights, illuminated greenery, and a warm and gentle breeze. Together we joked that our hearts were stolen and never going back to the frozen tundra that we came from.

…don’t worry, we will.

Memory 1

There is an organization that was a huge part of my life in my college days. That would be “Concert Choir.” At the time of my presidency, our choir took an international tour. Off to Ireland we went!

We had found ourselves at Kylemore Abbey. Have you been there before? I strongly suggest you go. A group of 50 people recuperating from jetlag is…quite a sight to see. Some friends and I were meandering around the gardens, taking in the sights, the concept of being across an ocean, and the green. We were in the midst of posing for a picture when we were approached by a couple. “Would you like someone to take the picture for you so you can all be together?” Their accent told us they were from England. We graciously accepted the offer and took this picture…

…the couple struck up a conversation with us and told us about their time in Ireland. We had a pleasant conversation about how they were simply on vacation and were heading back to London in the morning, the things they loved most about the country, and what they had done on their vacation. We told them that we were on day two of our journey, so they gave us a few pointers and sights to see. We explained that we were a part of a choir and that we were going to have a casual concert in the chapel of Kylemore Abbey. The couple was more than interested and they followed us to the chapel, sat through our ‘dress rehearsal’, and then proceeded to sit through our short 15-minute concert in the chapel. The man was taking pictures the whole time, the woman simply basking in the atmosphere of music.

After we finished we thanked them for coming to hear our music. They were truly blessed by what they had experienced. We explained to them that we were having a full concert in Galway later that night {they too were staying in Galway} and invited them to come to our concert if they so happened to be free.

Our concert came. Upon getting into position, we spotted our new English friends in the second row.

I don’t know if you’re a singer.

The little chapel at Kylemore Abbey. Trust me, it's little

I don’t know if you’ve ever been to Europe. Let me tell you, they have some beautiful churches, cathedrals, and ancient things. Every day people see these things and have their jaws drop at the majesty and beauty of it all. As a musician, factoring in the acoustical value of these venues, you can’t help but shiver with happiness and bliss. That evening was the first time I was ever to sing in a venue such as that, it was super beautiful. The concert was lovely, the sounds were lovely, the Irish people were lovely, so much…loveliness.

After our concert, the English woman friend that we had made approached a small group of us with tears in her eyes. “Thank you so much for letting us know about this. This is the greatest birthday I’ve had in years.” I was super shocked. What a super blessing to be able to meet this woman and assisting in the enjoyment of her birthday.

The power of music, people.

Memory 3

My senior year of college I was dubbed with a new title. The official title is “Senior Resident Assistant”, some call it ‘srah’, while others enjoy its full title of ‘sexy RA’. Now even though it has ‘senior’ in the official title doesn’t necessarily mean that only seniors are ‘SRA’s’…it just so happened that I was a senior, and an SRA. Okay, well what does an SRA do? Well, my rookie year of being an RA, I had a fantabulous SRA paint this picture for me. “It’s like we’re all a soccer team working together. An SRA is like the captain of the team: still completely a part of the team, just with a little more responsibility.” 

Anyways, the best part of anyone’s year [besides Christmas] was ResLife training, hands down. It was a glorious time of year to come together with strangers that you also called co-workers, begin to learn how ridiculously crazy you are, do some crazy skits, learn and re-learn how to use a fire extinguisher, and simply prepare the halls and dorms for the incoming students. Glorious.

Even though training was a solid two weeks, it still didn’t give us enough time to prepare. Every year things were rushed, schedules were crazy, and someone somewhere pulled an all-nighter before the school year even started. As an SRA, there was one thing that I wanted to be sure that we had time for as a staff: a prayer walk through our facilities.

I don’t know about you, but the first time someone ever told me about a prayer walk, I thought they were absolutely nuts, freaky, and super touchy-feely Holy-spirity kinda stuff… but I went along with it and realized woah, they’re not so crazy afterall. A prayer walk is just that: you walk and you pray, at the same time, praying for whatever comes to mind as you go, and physically putting yourself in the presence of the things/concepts you’re praying for.

I wanted to present this opportunity to my fellow workers and insisted that we, as a team, accomplish this task before students moved in. We made time for it. We gathered, and we walked. We prayed, we talked, we shared our hearts, we shared our fears, we encouraged one another, and we asked for protection and growth among the halls that we would be working, and we asked for relationships to be built among the people that would reside in them. Why is this memory so important? It’s the first memory of community being built between the Bittner-Mellinger Reslife staff, and what is life, what is purpose without a community to be a part of in the midst of it?

Memory 5

When you’re a music education major at a small private college, your graduating class is not going to be massive. Lucky for me, I got to complete my education with 13 other talented, special, and gifted individuals. By the time we had reached our senior year, we were with each other all day, every day, as every one of our classes was a music class of some kind. In these music classes we would watch each other perform day after day routines of “my turn, your turn”, watching one another be put on the spot, and struggling with those instruments that we had learned 6 semesters prior. It was an incredible feeling of teamwork and support… all egos aside and realizing that we were preparing ourselves for the fast approaching real world. It was a great era of life.

Students are students, no matter how old they may be. It was announced that there was a potential for class being canceled. These are dangerous words for any teacher to even think of uttering. They were uttered by one of my professors. The class was Elementary Methods and the dilemma was that we needed the class hours, but the teacher couldn’t be present. Now, I realize that musicians receive a lot of flack for being dim-witted, egotistical, crazy, lunatic, and a whole bunch of other adjectives of negative nature that are right the majority of the time. However, this one special day we came up with a brilliant plan…

If you do not reside or know anything about the culture of central Pennsylvania, let me tell you something important: diners are not just a place to eat, they are a way of life. For as strange as that sounded to this New York chick a whole 5 years ago, it was a part of the central Pennsylvanian culture that was quickly adapted into my lifestyle…and it was oh, so good.

The plan was this: we were still going to hold class as needed. We would just take class on a field trip. Our class was an 8am anyways, so we met in our classroom and piled in our cars and departed to Bakers, the local famous diner joint for all Messiah students. If you’re going to have class without a professor, you might as well have it with a plate of pancakes and bacon to keep you company and to make the learning process a little more pleasant. 

And that’s exactly what happened.

We also spent that time remembering, reflecting, and laughing over our journey together over the previous 4 years. 

Oh glorious day.