Language is the beautiful, complex, and intricate gift that we've all acquired throughout our lives. Sometimes if we're lucky we'll become fluent in more than one, maybe even four. There are these simple words, and then by arranging them in proper and meaningful patterns, one can create images, emotions, and stories that can be told for decades and centuries. Some of us are naturally gifted with these things called words. We call it "being articulate" where these beautiful little diamonds and sparkles literally roll off our tongues and flitter throughout the air to tickle and sparkle up the minds of those who cross paths with you. That's nice. Then there are those of us who can do nothing but sputter grains of sand. They mean nothing and are combobbled because of the infinite number of grains of sand that are in existence. No matter how much sand we sputter out, diamonds never appear, there is no twinkle. Sometimes because of the mass quantity it allows us to be noticed. "Woah, look at that dude who is knee-deep in sand." "She's got her own personal sandbox". I've been known for having crazy metaphors, but sometimes I really envision these things coming out of peoples mouths. It's quite entertaining. That's what happens when we put words together.
Then, sometimes there are just words that stand alone and hold power in themselves. Think of the emotions, thoughts, and connotations with each of the following words:
grace.
holocaust.
justice.
death.
love.
Depending on how your day has gone so far, some of you might already be shedding tears. It can take just one word to spark an emotion, whether that be discontent, sorrow, or joy. I remember just one word that my mom spoke to me that ignited something within. "Cancer".
So my point of being on this little "word-kick" thing is because of what I discovered while I was in China. Being in China for July 2010 was my first time leaving the United States for a significant period of time (not that a month is a significant period of time...but it wasn't a day trip). Prior to ever leaving the country I had envisioned that the world was so incredibly different from what I had known and experienced for 20 years. I had imagined as if there was this magical barrier along both coastlines of the United States and as soon as your plane crosses through, you immediately become a different person. You become a "wold traveler", who is a totally different person than "lame-US-college-kid". It would be this majestical experience and your skin would tingle and sparkles would fly and maybe Tinkerbell would appear. My imagination bubble was soon popped as I found out that in fact absolutely none of the previously stated things occurred, including the appearance of Tinkerbell. I also realized that there is no 'feeling' that comes with being in another country. I thought it would be an overwhelming feeling that reminded you every second that you were in a foreign land. Not the case.
Throughout {prettymuch} all languages there is this verb "to be". In Spanish, it's "estar", and in other languages...it's something else. "To be" is so incredibly powerful when you really think about all that it entails. Think of the famous "to be or not to be" by...Shakespere? J.K. Rowling?...someone famous. It took me a few weeks to realize that while I was in China, I was still every bit Kayla. Of course, Kayla was learning things everyday and taking in new culture and environments, but the physicality and reality of "Kayla" was just the same. Contrary to my belief of living in a 'parallel universe' I realized that my reality traveled with me where ever I go. This reminds me of an image from J.M. Barry's "Peter Pan", where Peter is so distraught that he has lost his shadow. In reality, a shadow goes with you wherever you go and never leaves you, just as ones reality. Just as memories, experiences, and relationships. This China experience is always going to be incorporated in my shadow. The relationships that I made accross the world, and in my own bubble of Messiah College are going to remain with me as long as there is light to shine upon them. Everything that I have done, everyone who I have met I have incorporated into a part of myself and how I roll. Is it possible for me to leave myself? Ke$ha might actually be on to something when she says "we R who we R". Allow me to modify: "I am who I am", and that is the same person who is here, who is in China, who is in Ireland, who is lost at sea. Way to go Ke$ha, you have ever so slightly redeemed yourself. You have a long way to go.
Interesting. If we are to take the statement "I am who I am" and modify one word, we end up with "I Am that I Am." There's a really famous guy who said that (or girl, depending upon your theology). It's recorded in Exodus 3:14. Changing that one little word can change the entire conversation. Food for thought.
You are always going to be you no matter where you are. Physically, spiritually, mentally. The 'you' of different times and eras of life may be totally different to some degree, but there is always going to be a foundation that remains the same and composes us of the basics of who we are. This basic foundation that is never exactly clear. Sometimes we live our whole lives with qualities and characteristics we didn't know that we had until our deathbeds. The Great I Am knows how and with what we were created. It's our mission and responsibility how to figure out how to use it.
Miss Liu as Moses |