where are you christmas...

Have you ever been stuck in a thought? Stuck in a mindset that continues to remind you every other minute of a particular thing or concept? I think that it is safe to say that this has happened to most people, the human mind is a complexity that I can merely pretend to know about. It's one of those things that we'll never know every detail about, and therefore 'tis fun to simply imagine truths about it, just because no one can really prove them wrong.

Perhaps it is six months later that I am debriefing my China experience. Perhaps it is six months later that I am actually allowing it to change me the way that I know it has. I am a native of Rochester, New York. Yes, quite the snow country. Home of many people, home of Kodak, Susan B. Anthony, and the more modern day famous tidbit we take ownership for is the eastern coast phenomenon, "Wegmans." Now, if you have never been to a Wegmans allow me to inform you. It is a grocery store on crack. I grew up with Wegmans, it has always been down the street since I can remember. Little did I know that so many others did not live the life of which I took for granted.

When I arrived at college all the talk was of the newly opened Wegmans a few towns over. Luckily for me, it wasn't too far to get a taste of home. It was at one point during my sophomore year (oh my, 2 years ago) that I went to church alone. Being the introvert that I am and my peculiar means of entertainment, I decided to just take a drive after church. A nice Sunday drive, that's what they did decades ago. Of course I ended up getting myself lost at various points, yet I was always able to find a familiar road. Well, before I decided to call it quits I happened to drive past the newly built Wegmans. I decided to stop in and was unexpectedly overwhelmed with emotion. I stood in line at the sub shop (ps-sidenote- a sub from Wegmans will change your life, you'll despise every Subway you look at for the mere shame it brings itself). At this sub shop I was invisibly struck with memories of myself and my family, much much younger squeezing and screaming, driving the woman behind the counter mad as we tried to order 5 subs at once. We had to order fast so that we could make it home in time for the Steelers game...that may or may not have been on TV due to the 3 channels we received, and for Rochester's proximity to the Buffalo Bills...nonetheless it was always a gamble whether or not we would actually get to watch the Steelers, but it still was a thrill every week.

While standing in line I was moved to tears. And for some odd reason I pulled out my phone and called my dad. I stepped out of line for fear of causing a scene. People in line would think that I had a severe reaction to the horseradish. My dad, always ecstatic to answer the phone joined in my emotion as I just stood before the sub shop, hustle and bustle around me, but in my own little world.

I recant this because today I had a similar experience in Wegmans. A similar experience in that I was experiencing memories and moved to tears. I was thinking of the orange lady on the corner in China, who we would buy our oranges and apples from. Only twice. Our ice cream lady, whom we would visit every day after school, and reward our teaching with Chinese ice cream, one kuai apiece. She was floored that foreigners would purchase her ice cream. Language barrier, yes, but we were able to connect with this woman, and we were ever so grateful for her ice cream...and such a variety!

Today, I was moved to tears because I was tormented. I was so overwhelmed with the hustle and bustle of this holiday season, seeing mountains upon mountains of tomatoes, lettuce, pineapples, and so many isles of box, after can, after package of stuff that will be thrown away. So that we for a day can stuff our faces a little bit more than usual and praise God for how blessed we are. I was thinking about how excited a starving child would be to have just one of the bagels that was sitting in the basket, or just one of the cheesesticks in the package of 24. I was so overwhelmed with how much consumption was going on around me I began to get dizzy and see stars. And then my eyes got hot, and my face became wet. This is what happens when thoughts recount over and over inside your mind. The question I ask myself is, 'what am I going to do about it?'

So I ask and challenge you this holiday season to think of our festivities a little bit differently. To a homeless child, Christmas is just another day to survive, another day to find food. There's nothing special about it. To me, knowing that someone out there must feel and experience that, makes me feel and experience that too.

"We have enough for everyone's need, but never enough for everyone's greed."--Gandhi


Team LongDe 1 with our "Ice Cream Lady".